Red
by Stacey Jaine
Summary: What if Anastasia did safe word in the Playroom during the belt incident. Would she still have left Christian or would she have stayed? This is my interpretation.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or the characters, as they belong to EL James.**

**This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction.**

* * *

_What if Anastasia did safe word in the Playroom during the belt incident. Would she still have left Christian or would she have stayed? This is my interpretation, and my story is picked up from the very last line of this chapter. Enjoy and please Rate and Review xox S.  
_

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

I close my eyes, bracing myself for the blow. It comes hard, snapping across my back side, and the bite of the belt is everything I feared. I cry out involuntarily, and take a huge gulp of air.

"Count, Anastasia!" he commands.

"One!" I shout at him, and it sounds like an expletive.

He hits me again, and the pain pulses and echoes along the line of the belt. _Holy shit… that smarts._

"Two!" I scream. It feels so good to scream.

His breathing is ragged and harsh. Whereas mine is almost non-existent as I desperately scrabble around my psyche looking for some internal strength. The belt cuts into my flesh again.

"Three!" Tears spring unwelcome into my eyes. Jeez – this is harder than I thought – so much harder than the spanking. He's not holding anything back.

"Four!" I yell as the belt bites me again, and now the tears are streaming down my face. I don't want to cry. It angers me that I am crying.

"Red!" I scream as I suck in much needed oxygen to my half-starved lungs. "Red."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or the characters, as they belong to EL James.**

**This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction.**

* * *

_Sorry for the short chapters, I promise they'll increase in length, once I know where the story is headed. Enjoy, and please rate and review xox S._

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE : PART ONE_  
_**

The belt falls to the floor behind me as Christian goes to wrap his arms around me. "You did it," he murmurs, and in my pain fuelled haze I sense that he's giving me praise. But praise for what exactly? Because I safe worded or because I withstood the bite of the belt? I hadn't had I? If I had been able to stand it I wouldn't have safe worded in the first place.

Pulling out of his grasp I look at him. "Are you happy?"

"Ana," he says, pleading. I can almost hear the regret in his voice.

_You asked for it. _My subconscious sneers, and suddenly I'm not sure who I'm more angry at – myself for allowing Christian to hit me with the belt, or Christian for actually doing what I asked.

"Don't, Christian, okay? Just… don't," I say, getting to my knees. "I need time, and I need space. I can't be here _with you_ Christian, at least—"

"Time," he repeats, nodding to himself. "I can give you time. How… much time do you need?"

_Oh Christian. You still don't get it do you. This isn't something I can put a number on._ I shake my head. "I don't… I don't know, Christian. The weekend, maybe longer. I'll call, or… something." It's a lame way to finish things but in all honest truth I feel suffocated. My bottom is sore and I'm so tired that I feel like I could fall asleep on my feet.

Leaving the Playroom, the door clicks softly behind me. I head to the Sub room where I take of the robe and put on jeans and one of my all too familiar tees. The panties chaff and for the first time, ever, I consider going commando, without someone telling me I should purely for their pleasure.

I pull my suitcase out from near the wardrobe and place it on the bed, throwing it open, I proceed to pack the few things I own, then grab my back pack and place both near the door to the room.

It's then I hear the door click, and Christian steps through. "Here," he says handing me two Advil, and then a glass of water. "If you're planning on leaving, I'll get Taylor to drive you home."

I simply nod, not saying anything, put the Advil on my tongue and swallow it down with the water. "Okay, um thanks."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or the characters, as they belong to EL James.**

**This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction.**

* * *

_To the Guest Reviewer who asked "What's changed?", well so far, very little, except that she used the safe word. The point, however, is to show that she can, it doesn't - didn't - necessarily mean that it was going to change her mind about leaving. I do like to think she got a little of her respect for herself back, in doing so. She's still hurt, physically more than emotionally, it seems, the more I write, so she's going to have to get her head around what she wants, what's she's willing to accept. Let's not forget, Ana is as new to relationships and dating as Christian is, regardless of his sexual experience._

_That said, it's only my interpretation, and I'm playing with characters somebody else created, you don't have to like it. Please don't forget to Rate and Review xox S._

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE : PART TWO**

"You're welcome," he says, and I expect him to leave, but he doesn't. He just stands there, on the edge of the room, lingering, like he's forgotten something.

"Was there something else?" I ask, my tone is deliberately icy. It has to be, or else my emotions will get in the way and I'll never get up the courage to leave. Remember the pain. Remember how much he enjoyed it.

I stifle a sob and quickly blink away the errant tear that chooses, at that moment, to fall, and then slide down my cheek. _Why do I love you Christian, when you're so damn wrong for me, why?_

_Because you thought you could fix him._ My sub conscious once again sneers. Gods above! My inner bitch is in overdrive.

"I wish you'd stay," he's pleading again, and as I look into his grey eyes, I see something of a scared and lost, lonely little boy reflected back in them. I want to reach out, I almost do reach out my hand, to grasp his, but then I remember my sore bottom and it cures me, almost instantly from wanting him.

"I can't Christian. I'm sorry. I'm not what you need," I say, even though it hurts to do so, I continue. "And you're definitely not what I need."

"Ana!" he calls, but I dutifully ignore him, moving passed him, I collect my suitcase and back pack from near the door and walk away.

"Good-bye Christian," I mutter to no one but myself.

Taylor greets me at the elevator as I press the button. "I'll see you home Miss Steele," he says and together we ride the elevator in complete silence.

I sit in the back of the SUV, finally able to breathe. The sun is just climbing it's way up in the sky, giving the horizon a soft glow. I knew if I wasn't feeling so shell shocked by the entire Playroom incident I would have been able to enjoy the view of the sunrise a lot more, but instead, I'm left feeling numb despite the natural beauty of my surroundings.

"Miss Steele?" Taylor pulls the SUV to a stop directly out the front of mine and Kate's apartment. Its strange being back here, but it's also oddly comforting.

It's Saturday morning, I know as soon as I leave the security of the SUV I'm going to be faced with the infamous Kate Kavanagh Inquisition, like always, but unlike always, I'm not sure today I have the strength for it.

"Thank you Taylor," I say with a depressed sigh. _You could have stayed_, the voice in my head reminds me. I could have, yes, but staying would have meant waiting out two more hits with the belt, along with a host of other things, that I wasn't equipped to deal with. No, it was better this way.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or the characters, as they belong to EL James.**

**This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction.**

* * *

_So, for the point of my story, I'm going to assume that Kate and Elliot left for Barbados sometime Monday morning (Ana's first day at SIP).  
_

_As you don't actually get to see what unfolds between Saturday morning through to Monday, so I thought I'd offer my own take on it. It has been a few months since I've re-read the 50 Shades Trilogy. I'm trying longer chapters which is why it's been about 24 hours between updates, and I'll probably aim to update every day to two days. I'll see how I go, as I'm still not completely sure where this story is headed. _

_And please, don't forget to Rate and Review xox S.  
_

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO**

Unlocking the front door to the apartment I've hardly lived in, I step through the door, closing it behind me.

"Hey Steele," Kate greets me; she's sitting at the island bench sipping coffee, with Elliot nearby. Inwardly I groan. Realistically, I know that I can't hold it against her, just because Christian's an ass doesn't mean Elliot is, or that all other guys are. It's not fair to make that assumption, but right now, that's exactly what I want to do. Seeing my best friend all loved up with Christian's brother is more than I can handle.

"Hi Kate," I say putting on a bright façade, with any luck I can escape the inquisition routine.

"You look like crap Ana." Nope, no such luck. Leave it to Elliot to state the obvious. "Rough night?"

I almost laugh out loud at his choice of words. It's only then I remember the NDA I signed, and that I can't utter so much as a syllable.

"Because if Christian has—"

"Just leave it Elliot please? It's fine. I'm fine. I just want to crawl into bed and go to sleep. I'm tired," I turn away from the kitchen, ready to head for my room, my bed… at least I was ready, until Kate's voice cuts the air, she's so loud I'm sure the entire Pike Place Market District has heard her. "Anastasia Rose Steele!"

I can feel my eardrums start to bleed – it's that loud. I turn around and roll my eyes. Mentally, I remind myself how I wouldn't have gotten away with eye rolling of any sort with Christian around. Which makes that Reason #1 AGAINST being with Christian Grey. With a sigh, I look up, green eyes to my blue. _Really, Kate, I'd much rather sleep._

"It's nothing, honestly, Christian and I—" _What? Anything I say next is going to be a lie and Kate's, well, she's Kate, and a reporter to boot, which kind of makes her trained to spot lies like these. Damn that NDA._

"I've got this Kate," Elliot says taking over. I don't know which is worse. Elliot or Kate? Really I'd prefer neither one, but if Elliot has any insight into his brother at all, I suppose it wouldn't hurt… Reason #1 FOR being with Christian Grey. It's a battle, honestly, even though it shouldn't be. _What the hell are you thinking, thinking like that? _My inner bitch is raging at me. Hands on hips, positively fuming. If I didn't know better I'd say she's even got smoke coming out of her nostrils.

"Elliot!"

"No, if it were nothing you'd still likely be in bed with Christian, not traipsing half way across Seattle with your bags in tow. Now, as he's my brother I don't really have to ask your permission to go and talk to him, do I?"

"What, now? Elliot you can't. You'll just make it worse."

"Worse, make what worse?"

I take a deep breathe, even without the NDA in place I know I've said too much. And relationship or not Christian is going to kill me.

"Nothing Elliot. I've said too much as it is. I think I'll head to bed before I say anything else I'll come to regret later."

"No, first you're going to sit here and have some tea. I'll even make it," Kate says getting up and walking around into the kitchen, while I proceed to think of a lie to cover up all that I shouldn't have said.

As Elliot walks into the kitchen, and kisses Kate, I find myself having to turn away. A small part of me is left wondering if they're even aware that I'm in the room. "Laters, Ana." Yep, totally aware. I roll my eyes and try to act natural while on the inside I'm just a ball of jealous rage.

"Bye Elliot."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or the characters, as they belong to EL James.**

**This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction.**

* * *

_So, so sorry for not updating sooner. It was my birthday on Friday and the party was Saturday, and I spent Sunday sort of recuperating, while not nursing a hangover. I wouldn't have made a deal of it except it was my 30th and you sort of have to mark your 30th. _

_Anyway, I thought I'd reward you. It's not a full chapter, mind you, but I will get back into full length chapters in the next couple of updates. Enjoy and please Rate and Review. I think you're going to like what's coming next. xox S.  
_

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE - PART ONE  
**

"Your brother Elliot's here to see you, Sir," Taylor says without actually stepping foot into Christian office.

"Thank you Taylor," Christian says getting up out of his office chair and striding, still barefoot, towards where Elliot is standing in the Great Room.

"You know you could really do with some colour in this room. All this gray, is mildly depressing," Elliot says turning away from the prints on the wall to face his brother.

"Cut the small talk Elliot," Christian says, his annoyance showing around his eyes and in the set of his jaw. "Why are you here?"

"Can't a guy visit his brother?"

"Usually, yes, but today's been a rather frustrating day, so no, you can't."

"So I heard," Elliot says.

"So you… WHAT!?"

"She came home looking like crap, Christian. Didn't say much, except that she didn't want me coming over here and was worried I'd make it worse. I'd go as far to say that I think she's actually scared of you. So, what the hell did you do to make a girl like Ana run?"

"We got into a fight," Christian says, both hands running through his hair. "She decided to leave soon afterwards.

"Must have been some fight."

"Yeah it was. She said she'll call after the weekend, but I'm not totally sure she will," Christian tells his brother. "I think I've fucked up the only good thing in my life."

"You know what you have to do, don't you?" Elliots asks.

"What?"

"You have to fix it. And flowers and chocolates are usually the best place to start."

Hearts and flowers, he thought to himself. Bloody hell. That just wasn't his thing. Wasn't his thing at all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or the characters, as they belong to EL James.**

**This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction.**

* * *

_So, this is part two of Chapter Three. Sorry it took so long between updates. I was working on an original fiction piece. _

_I can't promise real lengthy chapters, because this story is writing itself scene by scene it seems, but I promise to post all chapter in full, from now on. It's not easy getting into the heads of characters that aren't yours to begin with, so please Rate and Review xox S.  
_

_P.S. The chapter in its entirety, according to MS Word, is 682 words. All up **Red **is coming in at 2,395... about 600 words on average per chapter._

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE - PART TWO**

I sit sipping the Tea that Kate has made for me; my eyes never leaving hers. Just waiting. Any second now she was going to go all Inquisition-y on me. I was expecting it to be bad, I just didn't know how bad. Not yet. I wouldn't until she opened her mouth.

I take another sip and sigh, loudly. Kate still hasn't said anything. I'm going to do it for her. No point in delaying the inevitable. It's better to rip the Band-Aid clean off in one go then to let it hang there just because you're afraid of the pain it'll cause.

"You haven't said anything," I say, breaking the ice.

Kate shrugs. "Elliot said he'd handle it. So I'm letting him handle it. No point two of us going off, really is there?"

"I was expecting one of your famous Katherine Kavanagh style speeches," I say sheepishly.

"If you want me to bust your balls—"

And suddenly I'm laughing. I laugh so hard my sides hurt and my eyes start watering.

"If Christian can't see how special you are Ana that's his loss. Most guys would kill for a girl like you," she says.

"Christian isn't like most guys," I say.

"No?" Kate raises an eyebrow at me. "Seems to me he's _exactly_ like most guys. Look, Steele, I could tell you how to handle this in a million different ways, but the truth is, I'm leaving for Barbados in a few hours and I haven't even started packing. So, the way I see it, we can either sit around here bitching about a certain pain in the arse CEO or you can just hang out with your BFF while she packs."

I roll my eyes. It was beginning to become a habit. A habit Christian would no doubt have me out of, quick as a flash, if I were still with him. Perhaps there'd be another punishment involved. Punishment. Reason #2 AGAINST being with Christian Grey.

I throw up my arms, "Fine," I huff. "But only if I get free access to your wardrobe while you're away."

Kate laughs. "Sure. It's a done deal. Now, _please_, come keep me company while I pack. I don't know why I didn't do this sooner," she says.

"I think I can think of one reason, Kate," I say, as we collapse in a fit of giggles on her double bed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or the characters, as they belong to EL James.**

**This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction.**

* * *

So... I get it, you all don't like short chapters, I'm _trying _here okay. I did actually think the story was going to be easier to write than it has been, but nope, it's harder than I thought. Kudos to those of you, out there in fanfic world that can actually produce lengthy chapters. I can't.

Please, please Rate and Review, and no more about how short my chapters are, **_I get it_**, I really do, xox S.

P.S. Yes, it's a long chapter. Don't get used to it. I don't know where _that _all spilled from. Also assume Ana packed the blackberry and macbook, and didn't receive the check. It'll be explained in the course of this story. And no, she's not going to wallow (not a lot anyway) and she's not going to go running to Jose or Jack or Ethan.

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR**

It's after one in the afternoon on Saturday. I'm alone. Kate and Elliot have left for Barbados and won't be back home for two weeks. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. Work doesn't start until Monday, and I'm no longer as enthusiastic as I once was. Putting on a brave face in front of Elliot and Kate was one thing, doing the same, for a bunch of random strangers – people that I don't know – is something else entirely.

_You should have just taken Christian up on his internship, when he first offered it._ My inner-bitch is being slightly less bitchy, and slightly more helpful. At least if I had, I'd have a reason to not show up for work. And being fired on the first day wouldn't feel so discouraging.

I get up from my spot on the couch and saunter into Kate's room. At least I have free reign over her wardrobe while she's away. Maybe I can pull together something half-way decent to wear to work on Monday.

And then figure out how else to occupy my time.

In the end I settle on borrowing a blue dress of Kate's with matching pumps. Maybe while I'm dressed in something from Kate's wardrobe I'll feel something other than just… alone.

I take the dress and the shoes, and hang them both up in my wardrobe, ready for Monday. My suitcase and backpack have finally made it into my room, as opposed to the living room floor where they were parked earlier this morning, having gotten swamped by both Kate and Elliot the moment I walked in the door.

I eye them, wearily, knowing that I should unpack them, but knowing at the same time, it'll just serve as a reminder of Christian. Something I'm determined to avoid.

And then I remember the Macbook and the Blackberry I'd needlessly packed in my suitcase. I suppose I could always list them on eBay, Christian would surely get a kick out of that, what with his feeding the world analogy and all. Maybe I should just give them away instead.

I pick up my suitcase and put it down on the bed. Opening it, I pull the Mac out, and place it next to the suitcase. I close the lip and put the suitcase back on the floor and wait as the machine boots up.

As the desktop appears, I'm greeted with the familiar home screen. The email icon draws my eye first, then eBay. I giggle at the thought of placing an add. It'd be fun to see how much I could garner from selling both. Of course, then I'd be without both a car and a phone. Neither of which is very comforting. Getting the bus on Monday was going to be one hassle I didn't need.

Curious, I open my email. _3 New Messages_, it reads. No need to guess who they are from, I'd wager Christian Grey anyday.

Opening my inbox, I'm dutifully greeted with the three new emails – all are from Christian, just as I suspected they would be.

The first was sent at just after seven am. Probably around the time, Elliot was telling me how shitty I looked.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Sorry

**Date: **June 4, 2011 7:19

**To: **Anastasia Steele

Dear Anastasia

I know you said you'd call on Monday, but Monday feels like forever without you baby, I'm sorry.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

_Oh Christian. _The tears begin again, renewed.

I move on to the next one. It's dated before nine, right around the time Elliot got back.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Interference

**Date: **June 4, 2011 8:57

**To: **Anastasia Steele

Dear Anastasia

You'll never guess who came to see me, shortly after you left. Elliot. All on your behalf, or so I'm told. I'm curious as to what you said to warrant such a reaction from my brother. I wish you were still here, so I could punish you for such abhorrent behaviour. You did after all sign a NDA. I do so hope you haven't gone against the rules. My palm is twitching just thinking about it.

That said, however, Elliot has advised me that hearts and flowers is the best approach in these situations. Not that he's aware of my… afflictions, shall we say. So, consider this step #1 in me trying his way rather than my way, for a change. I'm way out of my depth and it's all because of you, Miss Steele.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

If anything he was honest. I had to give him that. Elliot sure had a way of handling his brother. I guess I should probably thank him when he and Kate get back from Barbados.

Honesty was one thing but was it enough? I open the last email. Sent only minutes ago.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Where are you?

**Date: **June 4, 2011 13:01

**To: **Anastasia Steele

Dear Anastasia

Don't you check your emails anymore? Or your Blackberry? Are you okay? Where are you?

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

Where was I? Somewhere between shell-shocked and numb, and rightly so, too, I thought. Obviously Mr. Christian _Master of the Universe _Grey didn't think that was a suitable response to being spanked seven shades of Sunday. Okay, so it was only four before I safe worded. It still would have been six if I hadn't. And what then? I would have still left with my tail between my legs wishing I could take it all back. Did I?

I hit reply and begin typing.

**From: **Anastasia Steele

**Subject: **Where am I?

**Date: **June 4, 2011 13:15

**To: **Christian Grey

Christian,

I'm somewhere between shell-shocked and numb. How about you? No, on second thoughts, I don't want to know. You hurt me Christian, and I can't pretend like you didn't. I have the welts to prove it. Please don't contact me, not by phone or email. I said it this morning, I need space, please, so for once, just give me what I ask for.

Anastasia Steele

I pressed send, without reading over it, hoping this time he'd listen.

After five minutes of waiting, and no response, I closed the laptop, in favour of a book, one of my favourites _Rebecca_ and began to read. In the hopes that this nightmare would end, and I could go back to being me again. The me I was before I'd ever met Christian Grey and signed away my virginity amongst a NDA and a BDSM contractual relationship.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or the characters, as they belong to EL James.**

**This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction.**

* * *

_Thanks for the kind reviews guys, and to those of you who keep reading regardless of the chapter length - you guys rock! This chapter isn't as long, probably not as detailed either, but I have some epic things planned for CHAPTER SIX. I'm not rushing, I just didn't think you wanted to hear about how Ana read, ate dinner and slept in long drawn out fashion. I don't even think she got out of her pajamas. That's how much of an epic Sunday she had.  
_

_As to Ana's email, I actually wrote a longer one before scrapping it. The line: "I need space, please, so for once, just give me what I ask for"_ _is a throw back to her wanting more._

_As for Christian, he's going to back off until at least Monday, in the physical sense._ _Please don't forget to Rate and Review xox S._

_P.S. Did anyone catch my mistake - or were you too busy obsessing over chapter length? - Turns out Kate and Elliot left for Barbados (in my story) Saturday morning, not Monday morning as I'd originally planned.  
_

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE**

The single long stemmed yellow rose turned up on the doorstep to the apartment I shared with Kate on Sunday morning. A silver bow tied around the stem, but there wasn't a note attached, but I bet there would be an email waiting for me. No, I wasn't going to be that Ana. I wouldn't go running every time Christian came calling. He could leave a dozen roses for all I cared; it made no difference to me.

I spent the rest of Sunday relaxing. Trying to keep my mind of Christian and my pending first day at work at SIP. I read so much that I managed to finish _Rebecca _and while I thought of starting another novel, my stomach growled reminding me, that I had eaten a thing all day. So dinner it was. I rummaged about in the fridge, finding cheese and eggs. Cracking the eggs I threw them into a mixing bowl, with some milk and pepper and salt. Grating some cheese, I toss it in and whisk the ingredients together before getting a pan and some oil. And while my scrambled eggs wouldn't win any awards, they were at least filling.

Sunday night rolls around and as I climb into bed, my eyes once again stray to the macbook on the side table. I open the lid and let it boot up, while pulling the covers around me, dragging it over and positioning it on my lap, the curser hovers over the email icon. _2 New Messages._ Are both from Christian? What could he possibly have to say that would warrant two emails?

I click the icon and my email program springs to life. Waiting for me in my inbox are the two emails. Both are from Christian.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **What about me?

**Date: **June 4, 2011 13:20

**To: **Anastasia Steele

Dear Anastasia

I am in Hell. I know, you don't want to know _how I feel_, but since you shared I'd figured it's only fair if I did too. Tit for tat, Miss Steele.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

Incorrigible bastard! Who the hell does he think he is? My first reaction is to slam the lid of the macbook, but then I remember the second email. Maybe I should, and then throw the damn thing out the window for good measure. A fitting send off, I reckon, given the beating I received.

Sighing, I feel only slightly better, and decide to read the second email. If anything I can send him a scathing reply in response, then block his email. The first time one bounces back to him, he should get the message.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **The Colour of Forgiveness

**Date: **June 5, 2011 10:27

**To: **Anastasia Steele

Dear Anastasia

Did you get the Rose I sent you?

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

So Christian was back to his mercurial self. It wasn't easy keeping up with his dramatic moods swings.

Closing the macbook, I put it back on my side table, and tried to sleep. But instead of sleep, I tossed and turned, so much so that when my alarm went off the next morning, I was tempted to shut it off and roll back over and go to sleep.

Instead, I got up, got myself ready and headed off to the bus stop for my first day of work at SIP.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or the characters, as they belong to EL James.**

**This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction.**

* * *

_Decided to reward you all with another chapter while I'm on a role._

_As for the Christian's emails, as annoying as they are. Well, we all know EL James alluded to how bad Christian felt, so I thought I'd touch on it. As for Ana running to another guy... well she might, but if she does, the motive is going to be all to make Christian jealous. The question is... who does she run too? It can't be Jack. Books aside, I don't like the idea of Ana dating her boss. Plus I haven't decided exactly how the Jack/Christian situation is going to play out yet. So Jose or Ethan. Or... do I have Ana call up Paul? I think that could be interesting... or no rebound fling at all? Please, please review! xox S._

* * *

**CHAPTER SIX**

It's my first day at SIP. I'm shown to a cubicle with a simple desk with a computer. I don't have an office to myself, which is probably a good thing. The first thing I notice however, is the single long stemmed yellow rose that lies across my desk. It's tied with the same colour ribbon as yesterday.

And just like yesterday there's no note attached. It doesn't matter though, because I now know that the rose is from Christian. And that the colour yellow is supposed to signify forgiveness. I looked it up on that laptop Christian gave – loaned – me. I guess he's seeking mine through flowers. Shame it's not that easy.

Pushing the rose aside, I start up the computer, just as Mr. Jack Hyde makes his way out of his office, and over to my cubicle. He stands next to my desk, eyes roaming over the rose.

"Getting flowers from admirers already, Ana?" he asks.

I can't tell if he disapproves or if he's trying to be funny, so I answer as truthfully as I can, keeping in mind the NDA. "Ex-boyfriend, actually."

"Oh," he says. "Bad breakup?"

Inquiring minds, want to know, Ana. Of course Mr Hyde would want to know, he's my boss. Can't have an employee showing up for work depressed and teary eyed all the time, can you?

I shrug. "I think he wants to get back together with me, but I'm not sure that I can. It's complicated, and I'd rather not talk about it."

"His loss then. Whatever he did, isn't going to be solved by a single rose. He ought to be making some sort of grand gesture. A dozen – no, two dozen – roses, it's just plain wrong otherwise."

I offer him a small smile and he moves away from my desk, having left behind a pile of manuscripts, the top page has three post-it notes stuck to it.

I shake my head, not in response to the stack of pages on my desk, but at how little Jack really knows about me, or Christian. And while a grand gesture is completely within Christian's grasp, given how undeniably wealthy he is, I can't help but hope he learned something about me in the short time we spent together.

It's never been about about money, or making a show of it, just because you have it.

The Audi, which I'd left behind, the macbook and the Blackberry, were all over the top outrageous gifts, given to me by Christian. _Because you were his Submissive, that's the only reason he gave them to you. _My inner-bitch is right. If I hadn't signed the contract, I doubt Christian would have given me anything. Which made the idea of a single rose turning up each day for the past two days somewhat bizarre behaviour, especially given how insanely rich he was. Jack was right. The grand gesture, even though it wasn't me, was totally more appropriate in this situation.

_Unless he doesn't want you back, as much as you think he does. _Seeds of doubt, cast not only by Jack but my inner bitch as well. I couldn't shake the feeling that both were right. Christian just wasn't that into me. It was an extremely depressing thought and one that would nag at me throughout the remainder of the day.

Finally, at 5:30, I leave the office and head for the bus stop. It's crowded, so I'm thankful I don't have far to go. Another reason to get a car as soon as possible. Pity I don't have the money Christian – or rather Taylor – got for my beetle.

The first thing I notice when I walk into the apartment is how quiet it is. Somehow it didn't seem so empty before. That's because Kate's usually out most of Sunday, while you're holed up in your room reading, or studying. Kate was the social butterfly, not me. Suddenly the reality of my situation, and of my break up with Christian seems far too real. I'm inching closer towards a hole that I'm not altogether sure I can work my way out of.

As the doorbell startles me from my inner thoughts, my heart skips. I have no idea who it could be, and I'm in absolutely no mood for company.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or the characters, as they belong to EL James.**

**This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction.**

* * *

_So, there's some confusion as to whether or not Ana is a submissive in Fifty Shades. I've gone back and looked at it, and if you recall Christian told Ana to use the time out with her Mom to think it over, as she'd agreed to try. So by the belt incident, she is technically a submissive. Of course their relationship was never typical of a sub/dom relationship, not in the way Christian carried them out. I also don't believe she actually signed the contract, it was just the NDA. Correct me if I'm wrong please. This isn't a typical re-write of the books, either by the way.  
_

_Don't forget to review, xox S._

_P.S. It's another short-ish chapter. I'll make it up in the next one, as things get interesting again._

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

I open the door, to find Christian standing before me. In his hand, he holds a dozen, or is that two dozen yellow roses.

"Christian," I take a step back, as he steps forward into the apartment. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd deliver these in person," he says, offering me the bouquet of yellow roses. Like the one I received at SIP today and before that on the doorstep of the apartment. "There are 27. One for each of the days that you were a part of my life – before I screwed it up, that is."

_One for each of the days you were his Submissive_, my inner-bitch sneers. And while it's not exactly true, she has a point. I never did sign that contract. I wonder, would the break-up have gone differently if I had?

I don't make any move, at all, to take the bouquet he's holding in his hands. Instead I hope the anger that's welling inside, is also showing on the outside. "You didn't listen to a word I said, did you?" I seethe. "I asked you to give me space. Twice. But you ignored me. Ignored the most basic of requests. I guess that's too much to ask when you're the one that's use to giving the orders, and not the other way around, huh? Well screw you, Christian Grey, screw you!"

"I've missed that mouth, Anastasia," Christian says. "Take the flowers, please?"

"No!" I'm holding my ground, and I'm not about to give it up yet. _I'm not about to be sucked in so you can hurt me again, either._

"Ana!"

"I said _no _Christian. What part of that don't you get?" I ask. "I don't want your damn flowers and I don't want you. Now, please, just get the hell out of my apartment. Just go!"

"If that's what you want," he says. There's defeat in his voice. I know I've hurt him, but he hurt me first. With a belt, no less.

I just nod. The tears will start if I try to talk, and I don't want to appear weak in front of him. I can't afford to. Not now.

It's all too fresh, too raw. I wish, deep down, that I didn't still love him, but I do. That's the centre of the pain, me, loving Christian, and him not loving me back, the same way.

He looks at me, offering up a sad, dejected smile and I just stare at him, unblinking. Unmoving. _Just go! _I will him with my mind. _Just go, please! _

Finally, at long last, he does leave, taken the bouquet of 27 yellow roses with him.

I'm alone in my apartment, and I hate it. I wish I had somebody to take to, but Kate's in Barbados, with Elliot. I hate him. I hate Kate. And I hate that their a couple, like Christian and I should have been. Not some fucked up fifty shades of whatever Christian had planned for me.

I pull out my phone – the one I had before Christian – but I hestitate. There's nobody for me to call. Paul's wrapped in Uni. Jose's preparing for his art show and Ethan's in Barbados. Sighing I put my phone down, making a mental note to stop it from diverting to the Blackberry. At least it's one less reminder of Christian.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or the characters, as they belong to EL James.**

**This is my first attempt at writing fan .  
**

* * *

_Okay, so this chapter is a little more in keeping with the books, but there's still a surprise or two. I find Ana too easy. First relationship, first guy. I've been there, and yes, it's easier to fall back into old habits rather than stay strong, but this wasn't an easy break up, so she's going to stick to her plan of being anti-Christian Grey, at least for the moment._

_And, yes, I've borrowed a little from the books... namely Christian's email to Ana, regarding Jose's show._

_Next chapter, I'm changing it up a bit. I wanted to leave this one on a bit of a cliff-hanger but to do that I found myself rushing, so I'm stopping for the moment. Next update may not be for 24 hours. Sad, I know, but I don't want to miss anything, and this next chapter has the potential to either make or break Christian and Ana's relationship.  
_

_Don't forget to review, xox S._

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

Tuesday is much the same as Monday. A single yellow Rose turns up on my desk, delivered before I arrive, and I spent the rest of the day ignoring it, while concentrating on my job and the work Jack assigns me.

And on Wednesday it's much the same. Jack is starting to annoy me. I hope he doesn't think that because I have issues with an ex, that gives him an excuse to worm his way in, because that won't be happening. Besides, I'm still not over Christian.

Its then my email pings, alerting me to the fact that I have a new email. _Please don't be Christian, please don't be Christian._ I chant quickly under my breath, so that only I can hear.

But it is.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Tomorrow

**Date: **June 8, 2011 14:05

**To: **Anastasia Steele

Dear Anastasia

Forgive this intrusion at work. I hope that it's going well. Have you been getting the Roses? I note that tomorrow is the gallery opening for your friend's show, and you don't have a car, and it's a long drive. I would be more than happy to take you—should you wish. Let me know.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

Jose's show! I hadn't forgotten, but at the same time I hadn't given any thought to how I was going to get to the gallery opening. Damn it! Why hadn't Jose called me? Oh, right. Stupid Blackberry, my phone was still on divert. I pull out both – my mobile – and the Blackberry Christian gave me. Switching the settings on the Blackberry, I find Jose's number and call, looking around quickly to make sure that Jack is still in his office.

"Hi, José. It's Ana."

"Hello, stranger." His tone is so warm and welcoming it's almost enough to push me over the edge again.

"I can't talk long. What time should I be there tomorrow for your show?"

"You're still coming?" He sounds excited.

"Yes, of course." I smile my first genuine smile in five days as I picture his broad grin.

"Seven thirty."

"See you then. Good-bye, José."

"Bye, Ana."

Next I type a response to Christian's unwanted and rather intrusive email.

**From: **Anastasia Steele

**Subject: **Tomorrow

**Date: **June 8, 2011 14:25

**To: **Christian Grey

Christian,

Yes, I got the Roses. I wish you wouldn't keep sending them, as it only makes this harder. I've already organised to catch a ride with a friend, but thanks anyway.

Anastasia Steele

Assistant to Jack Hyde, Commissioning Editor, SIP

I exhale, letting out the breath I'd been holding, partially unaware I'd even been holding it, and wait for Christian's reply.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Tomorrow

**Date: **June 8, 2011 14:27

**To: **Anastasia Steele

Dear Anastasia

Perhaps I'll see you there then.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

_What? No! Damn you, Christian. Why can't you just get the message?_ Having him there, at Jose's show, would be a distraction. There's no way I'd be able to enjoy myself with him there.

**From: **Anastasia Steele

**Subject: **Tomorrow

**Date: **June 8, 2011 14:32

**To: **Christian Grey

Christian,

I'd much rather you didn't meet me there. I'm trying to get over you. What about the rules?

Anastasia Steele

Assistant to Jack Hyde, Commissioning Editor, SIP

His reply is almost instantaneous.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Tomorrow

**Date: **June 8, 2011 14:33

**To: **Anastasia Steele

Dear Anastasia

Forget about the rules. I just want you. I miss you, Ana.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

I close my email in a huff, and get back to the work I need to complete for Jack. If Christian thinks it's as easy as nicely worded emails and Roses, he's got another thing coming. I can't help wonder why he's so insistent. Why am I so different than all the other fifteen? He didn't pursue them, did he? So why me? What have I got that they don't?

The thought continues to plague me. Trying to sleep seems pointless, and it isn't until a little after two in the morning that I'm able to drift off, but once I do, my dreams are far from restful Grey eyes haunt me. His face. That copper hair. Why couldn't I have just said yes when he asked. Even if I leave directly from work, it's still going to take three hours, at best. Which means I won't get to Jose' show until eight. As I don't have a car, or a much needed friend in Seattle to drive me, I'm going to be relying on a taxi, something which which Christian would never allow, if I were still with him. Freedom. Reason #3 AGAINST being with Christian Grey.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or the characters, as they belong to EL James.**

**This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction.**

* * *

_Okay, so a taxi isn't the most cost effective mode of transport. So, yes, I'm going with a rental car. Given she'd be looking at, at least $150 one way for a taxi... pays to do research __**before **__posting a chapter and not after it. _

_As for the fifteen, well, he's never been faced with a girl who hasn't been a part of the BDSM scene, sure he gifted them cars, clothes (I'm going with the assumption it was only ever lingerie/nightwear) Blackberry's etc, but no I don't think it was in anyway as extravagant as he got with Ana. I don't think they needed the clothes like Ana did. While it was mentioned he took them out, they never met his parents or went anywhere that would garner the attention of the press._

_What else? Elena/previous submissives... I haven't quite figured out what do to on that front yet._

_As for Christian, well, he's not completely faultless. He knows the lifestyle, Ana doesn't. Her request was completely motivated by wanting to touch him (__**If I do this for him, maybe he will let me touch him.**__) Selfish really. I think also, in the back of her mind, she didn't think it would hurt __**that**__ much. And while I know the full extent of those thoughts isn't illustrated until the 5th and 6th blow, I like to think she comes to it regardless. Either way, he's dark, darker than she expected and she didn't like it. She safeworded because it was pure pain. There was no pleasure. (unlike the spanking) Christian being totally to blame, totally normal. Regardless of where the fault really lies, regardless of the reasons behind your actions, in a relationship, you are always going to blame the other person inexplicably. I do it all the time in mine._

_In saying all that, this is the chapter that gets the two of them talking, but to get Ana actually talking to Christian, there had to be a catalyst. This seemed like the easiest way, without risking the story going stale._

_Don't forget to review, xox S._

* * *

**CHAPTER NINE**

Of course Thursday drags and by 5:30 I'm considering ditching Jose' show in favour of a long hot bath, but if I did, I'd disappoint Jose and I really don't want to do that to one of my best friends.

The rental car, which I booked yesterday, has been dropped outside SIP, the keys having been left with Claire at Reception, and I pick them up on my way past.

It's silver and compact, and not an Audi, which was my main reason for ordering it. Climbing in, I start the car, and plug my iPod into the cars internal docking system.

As it turns out, Kate has some pretty good connections, and not just in the journalistic world either. The deal I was able to get for this car, would have easily been half that of a one way trip to Portland by taxi.

… Head lights appear out of nowhere. I hit the break with my foot, throwing myself backwards in the seat, the back of my head hits the head rest, first, and then the steering wheel. Glass shatters and finally the air bag inflates and the world goes dark.

The wail of sirens, rouses me, a beam of light through the cracked windshield almost blinds me. I make a move with my hand to cover my eyes, but my reflexes are sluggish.

Somebody taps on the window and tugs at the driver's side door, only it doesn't open.

"Petrol's leaking over here, if we're going to get her out, it has to be now," I hear a voice say, muffled by the glass, as my eyelids grow heavy again…

… I wake again to bright fluorescent lights shining down on me from the ceiling above. It's a sea of white and the sheets feel rough against my bare legs. _Oh God! Kate's dress! _I look around. It looks like some kind of hospital room. _Jose' show. Oh no! Have I missed it?_

"You're in the hospital Miss Steele. How do you feel? A man in a white coat asked.

"I…" my throat feels like I've swallowed sandpaper.

"I'm Doctor Langford. You're in Providence Hospital. Do you remember the accident, at all?"

I shake my head. No, I didn't.

"You got off pretty lightly considering the state of the car. I hope it wasn't a rental, because it's a write-off."

_Oh God, the car!_

He nods. "I see, well, no point worrying about that now. Concentrate on getting yourself better. Despite the state of the car, you only sustained minor injuries. A concussion and a fractured wrist, along with some bruising."

"When can I go home?" I ask, finding my voice. It's still hoarse, but I'd rather speak than be silent.

"Not until at least tomorrow. We need to monitor your concussion. Make sure there's nothing else going on," the Doctor says. "You did lose consciousness for a while."

I frown. So much for José' show. I should call him.

"Your handbag was on the front passenger seat. The emergency crew were able to recover it and an iPod. You're quite lucky what you were driving wasn't a smaller model," he says moving my handbag from the chair beside the bed to my lap.

And with that I make a mental note to thank Christian for disposing of Wanda, my beloved VW Beetle, for me.

"Thanks Doctor," As he takes his leave, I dig through my handbag to locate my mobile phone. At least it still works.

21:53. _How long was I out?_

_3 New Messages. 7 Missed Calls._

I drag my finger across the screen to unlock my phone.

I message from José, at eight thirty. _Ana, I thought you said you were still coming? Was I wrong? José._

The remaining two are from Christian.

_Ana, where are you?_

_Call me the moment you get this message!_

I check the call list last, most are from Christian, but two are from José, which makes me feel even more horrible.

I call José first and he picks up on the first ring.

"Ana! Dios mío!"

"I'm fine, José, car got of worse than I did. I'm just sorry I missed your show," I say. "How'd it go?"

"It was great Ana, but I'm more worried about you."

"Don't be."

"Grey was here, chaffing at the bit, when you didn't show," he says.

"Really," I say dryly.

"Yep, he practically wore a hole through the gallery floor."

I laugh, "That's Christian alright."

"You should call him Ana," José says in a serious tone. "He was positively freaking out when I last saw him.

"I will José, and thank you," I say into the phone.

"Me, for what?"

I bite my lip. "For being a friend, when I needed one," I say.

"You're welcome Ana," he says and hangs up.

My hands are trembling, as I go through my contact list in search of Christian's number. I hover over his name for a second before pressing the call button.

"Ana, oh thank God!" I can see him in my mind's eye running his fingers through his hair. "Where are you."

"I'm in the Hospital, Christian, but don't freak out. I'm fine, I swear. The car got more banged up then I did."

"Which hospital?" he demands.

"Visiting hours are over Christian. I'm getting discharged tomorrow. I'll see you then, okay… sir," It's then I know I'm playing with fire. Knowing, as I do, just what that word does to a man like Christian Grey.

I hang up, sufficiently satisfied that I've garnered the response I want from Christian, and two seconds later, I hear the tell-tale ping of my mobile phone alerting me to the fact that I have a new text message.

*I'll see you at nine Anastasia and not a moment after. Sleep well, baby*

Suddenly I feel warm and fuzzy. It's a feeling I haven't felt in almost a week, but it's short lived. I still don't know how he really feels about me. Does he love me, or does he just want to use me for the mind-blowing sex we both know we have whenever we're together. Because if it's the latter I'm not sure I want a relationship based solely on sex.

Tomorrow, we'll talk. Like _really_ talk.

* * *

_I wanted to add real quick that this wasn't exactly how I envisioned this chapter panning out, but I think it worked. Next up, __**the talk**__. Ana's not caving completely, but she does want to be with Christian. I'm putting it down to the accident, it made her re-evaluate things a bit._


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or the characters, as they belong to EL James.**

* * *

_So there seemed to be a bit of a mixed reaction to the last chapter. Let me clarify. Ana got into the car accident half way into the drive to Portland. Right around Olympia, so she's in Providence Hospital. It's about 8pm when she's admitted semi conscious and doesn't properly wake until nearly 11pm. She was traveling alone, and her next of kin is Kate (who's in Barbados). Christian wasn't notified because nobody knew they had to notify him nor did he come to the hospital because he thought that perhaps she was avoiding him. Jose was wrapped up in his gallery show. Yes they both care about Ana. As for her injuries. Not that I've had a fractured wrist, but she wouldn't be up to her eyeballs in really strong knock me out drugs. Aspirin for the concussion, maybe something a little stronger for the wrist. Also, at least in most hospitals here, even in Emergency, visiting hours end at 8pm. Only immediate family would get clearance, which begs the question, why didn't Ana call her parents? Well it's 11pm at fricking night - she didn't want Ray or Carla to worry._

_Please review xox S._

* * *

**CHAPTER TEN**

Its 8:59 and I've been awake for two hours, by the time Christian saunters in through the door of my hospital room. He's wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt. His trademark copper hair is sexy as hell, and all I want is to be able to run my fingers through it.

"Ana, my God, are you alright? You should have called me. I tried tracing your phone but it was switched off, so I couldn't. Gods, Ana, I was so worried about you," he breathes. In a moment he's crossed the room and wrapped me up in his arms, his head in my hair, breathing me in. I remain stiff, realising, how little I had thought this _meeting _through.

"Christian," I start, pulling away. "I'm fine really, like I said on the phone last night."

"Last night," Christian growls, sitting on the end of my bed, one leg crossed over the other, a hand idly running down the seam of his jeans. "I don't like it when women toy with me Anastasia."

I know it's not good when he calls me by my full name. "Is that what I was doing?" I ask coyly and bite my lip.

"Stop it!"

"No!" I say sharply. "You beat me, with a belt, and it hurt Christian, it really did. I got into this accident because we broke up and I didn't have a car, because you sold the only one I had, the only one that I could conceivably afford. So I rented one…"

"You're blaming me?"

"Yes!" I say, then. "No, Christian, I don't know. Okay? I just don't. I want more. I'm… afraid that you don't. I think a small part of me realised that on Saturday. You don't want more. You think you can't be loved, but Christian, _I _love you. I do. You are worthy. Trust me. You just have to let yourself feel it. Love, it's an emotion, just like all the rest."

"No," he says. I half expect him to jump up off the bed, but he doesn't. "You can't love me. I… I'm broken."

"Well I do, love you, Christian. Perhaps you'll just have to learn to deal with it. Me loving you. Because I can't turn it off. I tried but even after almost a week, it's still there. That same feeling."

"And if I can't?" he asks. "Deal with it?"

"Then, I guess," I shrug. "I guess that's really it for us. We can't be together."

"You want… more?" he asks, looking at me.

I nod.

"What else?" he asks. Is he actually agreeing? Wow!

I shrug, and look down at my hands. Can I... could I? Would he…?

"I want you," I say. "All of you."

"You want hearts and flowers," he says and sighs. "Ana, I don't—"

"… do hearts and flowers and you don't make love, you fuck, right?" I say with a sigh. "I got that Mr Grey, loud and clear, in fact. If I recall it was you chasing me, and not the other way around. I just wanted to be left alone."

He nods. "Elliot's suggested I _chase _you. It wasn't exactly my idea." He mumbles.

"I thought you weren't in the habit of chasing women, Mr Grey?" I raise an eyebrow.

"I want you," he says. "I _need _you. These last few days have been hell without you."

"Well," I all but loose myself in his grey eyes. "You can have me, but," I pause, letting it all sink in.

"But?" he prompts.

"I won't be your submissive."

He chuckles. "Oh Ana, you never really were, you silly girl."

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. A very heavy one. But there's still more that we need to address. I refuse to fall back into bad habits. Even if that bad habit is wrapped up in a package as gorgeous as Christian Grey is.

"I haven't forgiven you, Christian."

"What, but you… I thought?"

"I think, that if we do this, a relationship, that we need to go slow. You're so overwhelming at times, that it's too intense. I can't keep up."

"I don't—"

I sigh, exasperated. I wish he could just admit it, but he can't. He needs more time to own up to his feelings. "I need to find the Doctor, so I can get discharged. I have to get to work."

"So, that's it? Conversation closed?" he says.

"You said it yourself. You can't change. Okay, so maybe not in those words, but I can read between the lines well enough to know that's how you feel."

"No, Ana, I—"

"What, Christian, what? Because I'm tired of going around in circles on this. It's not that hard. Either you love me, and are willing to work on a relationship, a functioning relationship, one without punishments or rules or signed contracts. Or, you don't. It's not that hard." I shrug, while mentally beginning to wait him out, for a response.

"I love you," he says, so softly, that it's barely audible.

And there it is; a Christian Grey style declaration.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or the characters, as they belong to EL James.**

* * *

_I'm so sorry guys, for such a long wait between updates. Life got in the way majorly over the last two weeks. And this chapter has wound up being a bit of an interlude. Drinks at Fifty's and Ana and Christian properly redefining their relationship will follow in the next chapter.  
_

_As for last chapter, I think it worked, it wasn't much of a talk, but I think Ana got all she needed to across. The ball is now, sufficiently in Christian's court. The __**I love you**__ was his way of reaffirming that he didn't want to loose Ana. It was the only thing he thought would placate her enough to stay with him. Ana's use of the word "Sir" was something playful at the time, don't worry though, Christian's not likely to forget about it anytime soon.  
_

_As always please review, I'll be writing like mad later tonight in order to get another chapter finished and posted ASAP. xox, S._

* * *

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

I stare at him, my mouth open in shock. _Did he say what I think he said? _It's when I feel his fingers on my chin that I close my mouth, stunned.

"I love you, Anastasia Steele," he says slightly louder, this time evoking butterflies from within.

"You love me?" I ask.

"Yes," he deadpans.

I offer him a small smile. Still apprehensive. It's hard to believe that he's changed his mind all of a sudden. Was it just the accident that has him reacting so strongly? As sweet as his declaration of love is, I'd rather it be completely genuine, than forced and fake.

"You're not just saying it because…" but the words falter before I can even get them all out.

"God, no! Anastasia, I… when you didn't show last night, I was out of my mind, and then when I couldn't reach you by phone I became frantic. Those feelings, the lack of control, I didn't like it. Worse still was the thought I couldn't shake off. The fact that the only reason you weren't there was because of me. Because I fucked up."

"Even you couldn't keep me away from Jose's show, Grey, wouldn't have mattered how much I hated you," I say, because it's the truth. I did hate him, and maybe I still do, just a little. Suffice to say he's not off the hook yet. "Look, Christian, if you really are serious, about me, about… us, then I think we should take this slow, and do it properly. There's no need to rush right?"

"No, there's no rush, I suppose."

"Good," I say. "I'm going to call the nurse, so I can see about getting discharged, so I can get to work."

"Work? Surely that can wait until Monday? You've just been in an accident. You lost consciousness, you should be resting. Really Anastasia I don't think—"

"I'm going to work Christian! With or without your approval. So you can either accept it, and give me a ride to my apartment and then, to SIP or not. I'm pretty sure I can get Jose to collect me."

Christian sighs, running his hands through his hair. "Fine. I'll take you, but you're coming home with me once the day is done, so I can keep a proper eye on you."

I roll my eyes, thinking how much Christian – despite his declaration and the new found status of our relationship – still hadn't changed.

"I saw that," he says.

"I bet you did," I say somewhat smugly.

"You know spanking still happens in vanilla relationships, right?" he asks.

_What? _

"No," I say. "No spanking. Not with a belt or your hand. You gave your word."

Christian frowns.

"I said no Christian!"

"No?" he raises his eyebrows up, a hint of a smile crosses his lips.

"No!" I say, with my hands crossed over my chest. "As in _dealbreaker_."

"Fine," he pouts, sucking me in, while making me feel horrible, for ever having said no in the first place. "Call the nurse. The sooner you do, the sooner you can get to work, and the sooner this day can be over and I can take you home."

Home. To Escala. Back to where it had begun.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey or the characters, as they belong to EL James.**

* * *

_What can I say about the last chapter? Not much... except that it was written during a particularly busy fortnight. So, it's on with the story and an obligatory longer chapter.  
_

_And to the guest who so poetically wrote: stop making Ana an annoying stubborn bitch...sorry but I enjoy seeing Ana be strong. As for going back to work, well she's spent the obligatory 24 hours in hospital for observation and only had a concussion, she's free to go.  
_

_Lastly, I refuse to believe it's that easy to fall all over such an attractive man. I won't deny the attention can be nice. But still. He beat her with a belt. However flawed my story, you can't ignore that.  
_

_Please don't forget to review xox S._

_**P.S. My husband is currently without a working laptop of his own, which is resulting in the need (his, not mine) to borrow mine. So, my computer time will be halved for a while, which means less time for me to devote to new chapters. It should only be a week tops. Also, I've got an idea for a AU story, if you'd be interested let me know via review or PM.** _

_**P.P.S. I know I promised the scene at FIFTY'S but we're not quite there yet. It's coming, I promise.**_

* * *

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

I nod slowly, and press the _CALL NURSE_ button. While, at the same time praying that it wouldn't be a lengthy discharge process. I'm not altogether keen at being stuck with Christian for an hour and a half, but I have no choice.

_You shouldn't have allowed him the option of taking you home. _My inner bitch is at it again, and for once I'm in complete agreement with her. I shouldn't have given him the option, but I did, so now I'd have to deal with it.

"You called?" the nurse asks.

"I was hoping that I could get the discharge process underway. I have to get to work," I say, making my excuses.

"Let me just go and find a doctor," she says walking swiftly out of the room.

I let out the breath I'm holding. I'm going to set Christian straight. I have to.

"I think I should stay at my own apartment tonight Christian," I say.

"Ana, I don't think—"

"I'm staying at my own apartment tonight Christian and that's that."

"But Ana," Christian starts. He's pouting again, but I refuse to give in like I did last time. It's just a face, I remind myself. Just a very handsome face.

I take a breath in, and then out, slowly, and then repeat the process, over and over again, until I can look at him without losing my resolve. Stick to your guns, Ana, I remind myself. Be strong.

"Christian!"

"Please?" he asks, again with the pout and the puppy dog eyes.

"You want to be discharged Miss Steele?" the doctor asks, interrupting the somewhat tense moment between Christian and I.

"Yes."

"I'll see to the paperwork."

I nod, turning my attention back to Christian once the doctor is out of earshot. "We'll talk about it later."

"Ana!"

"Drop it Christian, God! You're like a dog with a bone sometimes, you know that, you just don't give up."

_**xxx**_

The car ride is no less tense than it had been in the hospital room, as I waited to be discharged.

"I just want to keep you safe, Ana," Christian says, breaking the silence.

"Safe? I was in a car accident. A freak car accident, no less. I'm fine. I don't need nor do I want a babysitter. I'm not some child—"

"I know Ana, I'm sorry. I just… I missed you. You have no idea," he says.

Strangely enough I think I do have a fair idea.

"I'm scared," I say. "I'm scared you'll hurt me again. I'm not sure what being a couple again is going to mean for us. Have you even thought it through? What you said at the hospital, I mean."

"I don't want to lose you Ana. If a vanilla relationship is what I have to do to ensure that doesn't happen again, then that's what I'll do."

I nod, biting down on my lip.

"Slow," Christian whispers as his lips brush mine. "We'll take it slow."

I nod once, giving in to his kisses.

"Just because we're… just because of a kiss, it… doesn't… change anything," I say breathless. "I'm still… sleeping in my own bed tonight."

He breaks the kiss, a smile playing on his lips. "Maybe I'll stay the night then."

_No! _"Christian," I whine. _Crap!_ This is not going well. Not at all. "I need my own space!" I all but shout.

Christian stares at me, mouth open, pulling his hand away from my thigh. Quite obviously hurt. "You don't want me to stay over?"

"It's not that I don't want you to stay Christian. I do, eventually, just not tonight. I want to finish out the day at work, go home, watch some tv and go to bed, without—"

"Me," Christian says sadly.

"For crying out loud Christian. You may be a big shot CEO in the corporate world, but out here, in the real world you're supposed to be my boyfriend. Instead you're acting like a spoiled brat who didn't get his way, again. I can't deal with your shit right now, not when I'm still dealing with my own."

Christian nods mutely. "If that's what you want," he says. I hear the sadness in his voice. Christian Grey, it seems, is not used to rejection.

"Thank you," I murmur softly before turning to look out the window, and seeing the Seattle skyline coming into view.

_**xxx**_

The SUV pulls up outside Kate's apartment. I step out, a little surprised by the notion that Christian isn't following me. Unlocking the door, I head down the hall-way and into Kate's room, where I quickly select another one of her many outfits and matching shoes. I shower and dress, and pull my hair up into a messy bun,

In less than an hour I grab my handbag and keys and am back out the door and into the waiting SUV.

"To SIP, Taylor, please," I say.

"I wish you'd reconsider," Christian says softly.

"Reconsider what Christian? I need to work, I need the money. I have hospital bills, and I need to get a car—"

"How much do you need? I'll write you a check," he says quickly turning towards me.

"I don't want your money Christian."

"But you just said?"

I can tell by the look in his eyes and the crease in his brow that he's confused. Despite what I said, I just know I can't take his money.

"At least let me write you a check for the money you're owed," he says. "Taylor got a good price for the Beetle. Apparently it was a classic."

And suddenly, I'm not sure exactly how, I'm presented with a cheque. I guess Christian is the type of person who keeps spare cheque books in his car.

Taking a quick peak, I see the figure. It's $10,000.

"I… I can't accept this," I say.

"Like I said, the car was a classic. You can ask Taylor."

I nod. "Maybe I will."


End file.
